As a child I was taught “You can relax once you’ve finished all your jobs”
Learning to get the unappealing, but necessary things done and out the way was helpful when I was younger and the main things I needed to do were tidy my room, do my homework and a few chores.
However, as an adult this has not served me well. When I was a teacher the job was never finished. There was always more to do. The same goes with fostering, parenting, running a home and a business. There is never a point where everything is done!
Yet, even though my circumstances changed I clung onto this belief that it’s only ok to relax once I’ve done everything. Long past its “use by” date, it lingered – not even consciously. So, even when I tried to build in breaks because my body was tired or I knew I had to work in the evening I’d feel guilty – like I was doing something wrong.
For a long time I wasn’t even aware of it’s presence. Invisible obstacles are the hardest to overcome. This is why awareness is so powerful. Now I see it, I can begin to address it. As I’ve changed my thinking I’ve been able to change my habits (it’s slow and clunky, but I’m making progress).
Whilst the unhelpful thoughts and out of date teachings which pop up for the people I work with may differ to mine, the benefit of awareness and insight is key to making effective change. This is where coaching can be so helpful – offering that space to think and notice.
If you feel like you’re facing some invisible obstacles at the moment then why not try this 5 minute reflection sheet to get you started on exploring whether you’ve got some out of date ideas holding you back.
Grab a coffee and a pen and find somewhere you can have 5 minutes peace – you might be amazed at what you discover through a little bit of reflection.
I’d encourage you to go gently if it touches on deeper stuff. Please remember to reach out for help if you need to. If you’d like to explore further whether coaching might be a good fit for you then you can book a chat via the details below.
Enjoy the power of noticing!
Julie is an ICF accredited coach who offers busy parents thinking space so they can find strategic ways to make family life flow. Her background includes working with young people in education and as a foster carer. She is experienced at working with young people with additional challenges including SEN and trauma
You can book an initial consultation with her at: https://calendly.com/optimumcoaching
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Main photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash