Since we’ve returned I’ve already started researching new trips. I’ve got plenty of time because it will take a few years to save up for another adventure like this, but it clearly answers the question “would I do it again?”
I started this account of a trip with a blog I’d written before we left. It was about how we prepared to support our children through lots of change, challenge and new. I can tell you all those steps paid dividends.
Here’s a few other reflections about what helped to make it work and what I’d do differently
What helped in the tricky moments?
One moment I was particularly proud of the children was when we were walking around dark streets in Venice in the pouring rain, carrying our luggage and hunting for our Air BnB (which Google Maps said was 10m away but we still can’t find it). Stressed and anxious is a reasonable response for a child. What I noticed in moments like those is some of the strategies my children were using to manage those emotions before they became overwhelmed. We’ve spent so much time on this as parents over the years – trying to allow space for big emotions AND developing the tools to manage them well. It’s encouraging to see this bearing fruit and benefitting our children.
They were stressed because it was stressful – life will give them these moments and on a trip like this they are unavoidable, but we got through and were quickly able to restore equilibrium. I hope practicing these skills in new and challenging situations will give them the confidence to do more new and challenging in the future with the confidence they can handle it.
In summary; all the years we’ve spent working on self regulation is paying off!
Don’t underestimate the power of fully blankets and pjs!
Another thing which worked really well was creating an evening routine. When we eventually found our accommodation in Venice we made it a priority to get cosy – Pjs, fluffy blankets, hot chocolate and the next instalment of the film we were watching. This had become our routine over the previous nights and gave us consistency in the midst of a lot of change. Leaning into that routine (about an hour every evening) brought stability and predictability which, in my experience can significantly help children to feel safe and settled .
The Rainbow of Emotions
I knew this trip would have highs and lows. I didn’t expect all of the feelings which we encountered (despite having watched nearly every series of Race Around The World). It’s so tempting to share only the highlights, but I’ve tried to share the full picture as I’ve blogged because actually the rainbow of emotions is part of what makes us feel alive. I’ve tried to embrace it rather than fighting it and it has been such an enriching experience.
What have I learned for future trips?
- Only one night in a place is short, especially when you do a few of those in a row – a minimum of two nights works better (although I would do one night here and there if needed).
- Spending 24/7 together is intense, especially when you as the adult need to be the calm one. I think as adults an hour here and there to go off on our own might have been helpful and given us a little bit of space from adulting!
- Staying in AirBnBs gave us a taste of homes in the area we were staying in – I enjoyed this far more than staying in hotels
- Check the supermarket opening times in advance!
- 8 hours on a train is a much nicer experience than in a car and the children coped much better with this length of journey than I expected. We actually all quite enjoyed it. Travel days feel like part of the adventure rather than just getting from a to b.
Courage often pays dividends – trusting my courage has been enriching rather than reckless. Perhaps I can be a bit braver next time!
If you’ve read this far through my ramblings then thank you and if you want a copy of the powerpoint I made for my children to see how it works drop me an email.
Julie
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Julie is an ICF accredited coach who offers vital thinking space to busy parents. She’s passionate about children growing up experiencing acceptance, belonging and connection. Her background includes working with young people in education, as a foster carer and being a mum. She is very experienced in the additional challenges some young people experience including SEN, neurodiversity and trauma
You can find out more about her work at www.optimumparentandfamily.co.uk
#parenting #behaviour #communication #coaching #learning #emotionalintelligence #dysregulation #travel #familyholiday